Joke of the Day – Pleasing A Women

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes thats right – women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes…. a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, Well, thats better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder whats further up? So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, Thats great, but I wonder whats further up? And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. Hmmm, better she says. But I wonder whats upstairs?

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. Wow! exclaims the woman, very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up! And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. Oh, mercy me! But just think…. what must be awaiting me further on? So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

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Joke of the Day – Top 10 List of Things You Dont Want to Hear During Surgery

Ive never had any major surgery so I consider myself pretty lucky, however not everyone can say that. I get scared just thinking about going under the knife, and if I ever did – these are 10 things that I surely dont want to hear my doctor say….

* Has anyone seen my watch?
* Come back with that! Bad Dog!
* Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then whats that?
* Hand me that…. uh…. thingy over there.
* What do you mean he wasnt in for a sex change!
* Damn, there go the lights again….
* Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
* What do you mean, hes not insured?
* Lets hurry, I dont want to miss Bay Watch

And the number one thing I dont want to her my doctor say during surgery….

* Oops!

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Joke of the Day – The Confessional Booth

After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.

Confessional BoothAfter a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window…. nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit…. still nothing. At this point the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.

Finally the dunk yells out…. Aint no use knocking, there aint no paper over here either!

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Joke of the Day – A Blondes Flight To Chicago

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because thats the type of ticket she paid for.

Dumb BlondeThe blonde woman replies, Im blonde, Im beautiful, Im going to Chicago and Im staying right here.

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that theres a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, Im blonde, Im beautiful, Im going to Chicago and Im staying right here.

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, You say shes blonde? Ill handle this. Im married to a blonde. I speak blonde. He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, Oh, Im sorry, then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

I told her first class isnt going to Chicago.

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