A woman is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, What horrible luck! What in the world should I do now?

A gentleman next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, I dont know…. Why dont you play your age?

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!

Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

He asks, What happened? Is she all right?

The operator replies, I dont know, buddy….. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!

“““““

Find the best dating sites on the net at FreshPersonals.com !

Dr. Smith recently got his doctorate in psychology and his first assignment was to visit the community loony bin retirement home for the patients monthly mental examination.

He sees his first patient and asks him, Ralph, how much is six times six? Ralph responds 74. He asks the next resident, Tim, how much is six times six? Tom responds, Thursday. Expecting more of the same, he approaches Randy and asks him, Randy, how much is six times? THIRTY-SIX replies Randy. Thats right Randy, well done! Now tell me how did you know that answer? Oh it was easy…. I just subtracted 74 from Thursday!

“““““

Get some great Gift Ideas at GiftWeblog.com !

An older blonde woman heard through a friend that taking a milk bath is good for the skin, will cure stretch marks and make her beautiful again. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk instead of the usual amount.

When the milkman arrived, and read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point. The woman came to the door, and the milkman said, Yes ma’am, I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?

The blonde said, I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.

The milkman asked,Do you want it Pasteurized?

The blonde replied, Nope, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes.

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because thats the type of ticket she paid for.

Dumb BlondeThe blonde woman replies, Im blonde, Im beautiful, Im going to Chicago and Im staying right here.

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that theres a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, Im blonde, Im beautiful, Im going to Chicago and Im staying right here.

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, You say shes blonde? Ill handle this. Im married to a blonde. I speak blonde. He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, Oh, Im sorry, then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

I told her first class isnt going to Chicago.

“““““

Get bridesmaids gifts and all wedding products at BrightWedding.com