Joke of the Day – Getting old when

You know you’re getting older when…Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep. You look forward to a dull evening. Your knees buckle and your belt won’t. Your back goes out more than you do. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

……………..

Get Diamond.com Coupons at JuicyCoupons.com to save money online !

Joke of the Day – Guaranteed visits

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. “Bloomingdales!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Bloomingdales?” “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”

……………..

Get rid of Acne ! Buy Acne Control today!

Joke of the Day – After a long pubcrawl

After a long pubcrawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red orgreen. Since they can’t come to a conclusion they go searching a cop. Finally they find one and ask him: “Please, officcccer, could you tell usif the moon is red or green?” The cop looks up and asks back: “The left or the right one?”

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Joke of the Day – A fellow decides to take off early from work…

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he didn’t know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went tobed.The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.”Well, you really tied one on last night,” she said. “Where’d you go?””I worked late,” he said, “and I stopped off for a couple of beers.””A couple of beers? That’s a laugh,” she replied. “You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?””What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?””Well,” she replied, “my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror.”

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com