Joke of the Day – Getting down under
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Joke of the Day – Getting down under

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man who has never been with a woman sexually.

After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback, and after a long-distance courtship, they decide to get married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I’ve never been with a woman,” he says. “But if it’s anything like screwing a kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”

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Joke of the Day – 911 emergency
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Joke of the Day – 911 emergency

There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue.

She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.

In a panic she called 911. They answered and said “This is Joe Anderson is there an emergency?”

The blonde replied “Yes my shed is on fire!!!” Joe said, “Don’t panic help in on the way…where do you live?”

The blonde said, “IN A HOUSE NOW HURRY!!”

Joe calmly responded back, “How are we supposed to get there?”

The blonde answered back, “DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!”

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Joke of the Day – Funny blonde boat trouble
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Joke of the Day – Funny blonde boat trouble

One spring morning, a blonde was excited to try out her new boat.

She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.

After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek professional help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.

The workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems.

Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.

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Joke of the Day – Wee hughies excuse
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Joke of the Day – Wee hughies excuse

Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.

“What’s the story this time. Hughie?” he asked sarcastically, “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

Wee Hughie sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn’t turn up.

Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office, and here I am!”

“You’ll have to do better than that, Hughie,” said his boss, disappointed, “No woman can be ready in ten minutes.”

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