Joke of the Day – Special horse

There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks.

One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep.

The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town.

On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, “Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?”

The missionary says, “Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say ‘Thank God’ to make it go and ‘Amen’ to make it stop.”

Not paying much attention, the man says, “Sure, ok.”

So he gets On the horse and says, “Thank God” and the horse starts walking.

Then he says, “Thank God, thank God, ” and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man say, “Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God” and the horse just takes off.

Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he’s doing everything he can to make the horse stop. “Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!” Finally he remembers, “Amen!!”

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. The man leans back in the saddle and says, “Thank God”.

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Joke of the Day – Talk like a frog

A little boy turned to his grandpa and said, “grandpa, talk like a frog.”

The Grandpa replied “What?, I’m not going to talk like a frog!”

The little boy again asked, “come on, Grandpa talk like a frog please.”

Grandpa again said “No! Go bother your grandmother.”

The little boy finally gave up and left.

A little while later the little boy’s sister came in and said “Grandpa will you talk like a frog for me?”

Grandpa of course replied, “NO!”

The little girl then said “Please grandpa will you talk just like a frog”?

Grandpa was very disturbed by now and said, “what is it with you and your brother, why in the world do you want me to talk like a frog?”

The little girl looked at her grandpa and said “Well last night daddy told us that when you croak we are going to go to Disney World.”

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Joke of the Day – New ceo

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $300.00 a week. Why?”

The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, “Here’s four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

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Joke of the Day – Door to door salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“&&** off!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money” and she tried to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

“Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse poop all over her hallway carpet.

“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse poop from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

“Well,” she said, “I hope you’ve got a mighty good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning.”

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