A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.”I’m here for the paint job,” she said.”Alright,” said the man. “Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house.”The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, “I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn’t a porsche out back. It’s a new BMW.

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A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn’t get back.He yelled in response, “Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back.”She replied, “No, I’ll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!”

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An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water? demanded the Grand Emir. A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One, stammered the wretched Abdul, white man sit on well.

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The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.””What is it, child?”The girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.”The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, “My dear, I have good news. That isn’t a sin – it’s only a mistake.”

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