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Joke of the Day: audited by the IRS

A man gets audited by the IRS and the auditor is not surprised when he arrives with his lawyer. As the men sit down the lawyer says, “Look, the reason my client is in this situation is because he is a terrible gambler.”

“I am not a terrible gambler,” the man replies. “I will make a bet right now. I bet you $1,000 that I can bite my own eye.” he says to the auditor.

“You can’t bite your own eye,” the auditor replies. “I’ll take your bet.”

The man reaches up, removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor is in shock, he just bet this man $1,000 in front of a lawyer. The man however is generous.

“Ok, that wasn’t really fair. You didn’t know that I had a glass eye. So, for double or nothing I bet you I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor is skeptical, but after careful examination determines that there is no way he has two glass eyes. “Fine, double or nothing, you cannot bite your other eye.”

The man reaches into his mouth and pulls out his false teeth and carefully makes them bite down on his other eye.

The auditor is completely taken aback. How could he possibly be so dumb as to take that bet.

“Ok,” the man says again. “You didn’t know I had dentures, so I will give you one last chance. Double or nothing, I bet you I can stand on this side of your desk and piss over your desk and into that wastebasket without getting a single drop on your desk.”

The auditor backs up and looks at the distance. There is no way the man could physically maintain a stream that could reach that distance. It had to be impossible.

“I have no choice,” the auditor says. “I’ll take the bet.”

The man stands up, walks to the side of the desk and proceeds to piss all over the auditors desk, not a single drop reaching the wastebasket.

The auditor leaps from his seat and cheers his victory. The lawyer however, has his face in his hands, audibly groaning.

“Wait,” the auditor says. “Why are you so upset?”

“Before we came in, he bet me $20,000 he could walk in here, piss all over your desk and you would be happy about it.”

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