It was autumn, and members of a Native American Indian tribe asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Chief in a modern society and had never been taught the old secrets of Nature, he looked up at the sky and had no clue what to do. To play it safe, he replied to his tribe that the winter could definitely be cold and that they should collect firewood early, just to be prepared. So, the members began gathering wood.

Being a practical leader, he figured he should also use the resources available to the modern society. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will this winter be cold?”

“As of now, it looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the forecaster said.

So the Chief went back to his tribe and told them to collect even more wood. A week later he called the National Weather Service again and asked for an update.

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “based on incoming data, this winter is looking to be colder than we expected.” The Chief was surprised, but again went back to his tribe, told them that this might be a very cold winter, and asked them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

One week later, the Chief called the National Weather Service yet again, hoping for a new answer. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Positive,” the man replied. “It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”

“Really?” the shocked Chief exclaimed. “How can you be so sure?”

“First,” the forecaster replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

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A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, ” Don’t be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam”.

The patient answers “I don’t have an erection”

The Doctor replies “I’m sorry i was talking to myself”

“““““

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Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.

“Twenty Euros,” she whispers.

Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty Euros.

So they hid in the bushes. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.

It is a Police Officer. “What’s going on here, people?” asks the cop.

“I’m making love to me wife,” Murphy answers sounding annoyed.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.” “Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloody light in her face!”

“““““

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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic man then says, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”

She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, slim, tall, D breast, 24″ waist and 34” hips. When she walks into a room, people say, “Oh My God.”

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