Naked underneath A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, “Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.”

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?” Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It’s got to be your ears!”

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin – no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?”

Clearing his throat, he stammered, “Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.”

“““““

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The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued. “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

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A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger – 2.99

Cheeseburger – 3.99

Chicken Sandwich – 4.99

Hand Jobs – 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile.

The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”

“““““

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The old man in his deathbed looks his wife in the eye: “Honey, please be honest with me. I’m not long for this world, and something has really been eating at me for a while. I’ve always found our 6th son a bit weird…different, if you may. He has a different father from the other ones, hasn’t he?”

The wife, in tears and sobbing uncontrollably, asks for forgiveness and buries her face in her hands, while nodding. The husband, curious: “So, who’s the father?” The wife, very sincere, answers “It’s you…”

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