Joke of the Day: Barber and Kid
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Joke of the Day: Barber and Kid

A young boy enters a barbershop… the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch.”

The barber puts a dollar in one open palm and two quarters in the other and asks the kid, “Which do you want?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” says the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why’d you take the quarters and not the dollar?” he asks.

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

——-

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Joke of the Day: Visiting Granny
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Joke of the Day: Visiting Granny

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year-old granny and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.” Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

“Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.” She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, “He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.”

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Joke of the Day: A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, & a Floridian
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Joke of the Day: A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, & a Floridian

A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas…

After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window.

“What are you doing that for?”, the others exclaim.

“Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see corn. I’m going on vacation and I don’t want to see any corn for a couple weeks.”

The Georgian replies, “you know what? You’re right; I’m sick of seeing peaches all over Georgia. I don’t know why I brought them with me.” He opens his window and dumps his bag of peaches out.

The Floridian, feeling inspired, opens the door and kicks the New Yorker out.

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Joke of the Day: Sunday school
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Joke of the Day: Sunday school

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”

When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”

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