Joke of the Day: Sneezing

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section on a flight to New Zealand.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.

As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wipe your nose and then shudder violently. Are you OK?”

“I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. “I have never heard of that condition before” he said. “Are you taking anything for it?”

The woman smiled, “Pepper.”

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Joke of the Day: Lawyer and the devil

So a young lawyer is sitting in his office when the devil appears in front of him.

“I’ve got an offer for you” the devil explains

“Go on….” Says the young lawyer

“Well from here out your practice will grow 10 fold, your partners will all respect you, your clients will all love you, you’ll have a golden tongue with any jury, you’ll get all the vacation days you could ever want, and you’ll live to be 100″ replies the devil…”all I ask is that you wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and your children’s children’s souls rot in hell for eternity”

The lawyer leans back in his chair and inquisitively asks, “what’s the catch?”

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Joke of the Day: Factory workers

Two factory workers Dugly & Mary are talking.

Mary says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

Dugly replies, “And how would you do that?”

Mary says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

Mary replies, “I’m a light bulb.” The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”

Dugly starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

Dugly says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

“““““

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Joke of the Day: Irish Pub

A Texan walks into an Irish pub and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Ten minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 10 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

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