A student asks the crush of his dreams out to prom, and she said yes! So he plans out a list of to-do before the big dance.

First he goes to rent a tux, but there is a long tux line at the shop, he waits for 20 minutes.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits even longer but eventually gets the flowers.

Next he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets a very nice limo.

Lastly he goes to the barber and once again there is a long line but as he sits and waits he is just dreaming how his date will look, and within no time he gets his hair cut.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

“““““

Student Dating at StudentDater.com to meet single college students.

Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: “Are you okay? What’s your name?”

“It’s John, and I’m okay, thanks,” I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.

“John,” she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) “forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”

“Oh, come on now,” Elizabeth insisted.

She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive … I was weak. “Well okay,” I finally agreed but thought to myself, “my wife won’t like it.”

After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d best go now.”

“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

“Still under the cart, I guess.”

“““““

SSBBW Dating at SSBBWdater.com for super-sized singles.

Two men are walking their dogs , a Poodle and a German Shepherd. They decide they’d like to go into a bar for a drink. “But we can’t bring our dogs into that bar,” says the Poodle’s human. “No problem,” says the German Shepherd’s human. “Just watch this.” He pulls out a pair of sunglasses and walks into the bar. “Hey, no dogs!” yells the bartender. “But this is a seeing eye dog,” says the German Shepherd’s human. The bartender apologizes and shows them to a chair. So, the Poodle owner decides to follow suit, whips out his sunglasses, and walks into the bar. “Hey, no dogs!” yells the bartender.

“But this is a seeing eye dog,” says the Poodle’s human. The bartender objects, “Hey, Poodles can’t be seeing eye dogs!” The Poodle owner gasps, “What! The agency gave me a poodle?!”

“““““

Find Dog.com Coupons at PowerCoupons.com for discounts and bargains.

A young investment banker in Miami goes out and buys the car of his dreams – a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the Ferrari and asks, “What kind of car ya’ got there, Sonny?” The young man replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!” “Wheeewee… that’s a lot of money,” says the old man as he tucks his thumbs up against his suspenders. “Why does it cost so much?” “Because this car can do up to 215 miles an hour!” states the banker proudly.

The moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?” “No problem,” replies the proud new owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around at all the bells and whistles lining the dashboard. Sitting back on his moped, the old man whistles and says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right… but I’ll stick with my moped!”

Just then the light changes, so the banker decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within a few seconds, the speedometer reads 120 mph! Suddenly, he notices a yellow dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly… Whoooooosssshhhhh! Something blows by him, going much faster! “What in the hell could be going faster than my Ferrari?” the young man asks himself.

He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 150 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the moped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 170 mph. Whoooooosssshhhhh! He’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again! Dumbfounded, the banker floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 215 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again!

The Ferrari red lines and there’s nothing more he can do! Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, “Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?” The old man whispers with his dying breath… “Unhook… my… suspenders… from… your…. side view mirror.”

“““““

Miami Dating at MatchMiami.com to meet singles in South Florida.