A 5 year old son after reading story of a king:
Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives..one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me…….
Mom:….And one will put you to sleep
Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom’s eyes filled up with tears … God bless you son
Mom: but who will sleep with your 5 wives
Son: Let them sleep with daddy
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears… God bless you son !
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A drunken Jew goes across the bar and breaks the chinaman’s nose.
The chinaman asks “What was that for?”
The jew responds “That was for Pearl Harbor!”
“Pearl Harbor,” responds the Chinaman “that wasn’t Chinese that was Japanese!”
The jew retorts “Chinese, Japanese, Korean, your all the Asians same to me.”
Later the Chinaman busts the Jew in the mouth.
The Jew asks why,the response is “for the Titanic”
Jew replies “Titanic, that was an iceberg”
Chinaman retorts “Iceberg, greenberg ‘goldberg……”
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A young man is sitting in a tavern in a small town in Italy, drinking and looking glum. A stern looking local man approaches him and asks,
“What’s wrong my friend?”
He says “My partner left me for another man.”
“Ah, life can be cruel” says the local. “Take me, I built this bar with my bare hands. Foundation to chimney. You think they call me Mario the builder? No. Come with me.”
Mario takes the man to the window.
“You see those olive trees? I planted every single one. Dug the soil with my bare hands, tended them from seedling to bear the finest oil in the country. You think they call me Mario the gardener? No. Follow me.”
He takes the young man out to the porch of the bar.
“Look out at that lake. You see those boats? I built every one with my bare hands. I chopped down the trees, cut the planks for every foot of ship and varnished every keel in that dock. Do you think they call me Mario the shipwright? No. Life can be cruel and unfair my friend.”
As they stood there a couple of men from the village round a corner and immediately yell,
“Hey look, it’s Mario the goat fucker!”
“““““
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