A man is in a serious car crash and loses his penis. After extensive rehab, the doctor informs the man that he has $9,000 left from his insurance claim, which he can use to replace his penis.

The doctor states that there are 2 donor penises available. 1 is 5 and a half inches long, and the other is 8 inches long. The doctor tells the man to go home and consult with his wife about which size they feel is best.

3 days later the man comes back into the doctor’s office, and the doctor asks him what he and his wife had decided.

After a brief pause the man says to the doctor: “My wife and I have decided that we will be going with granite counter tops.”

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