The Teacher Asked the Class to Name Something that Ends in -Tor and Eats Things.

Henry raised his hand first. He said, “Predator.”

“Clever answer! They sure eat things!” The teacher told him.

Next, Scott raised his hand. “Oh! I know! Raptor!”

“You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things,” the teacher said.
Then, little Timmy answered. “Vibrator!”

The class went dead silent. The teacher told Timmy, “Um Timmy, I don’t think vibrators eat things…”

Timmy was confused. “Really? My sister told me it ate through batteries like crazy!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

I proposed to my Russian girlfriend and she said “yes!”

For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.
It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, “You may now kiss the bride”, but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn’t mind.

Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl.

As we passed, they all said in unison, “You may now kiss the bride!” My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned.

As we walked away I asked, “Why did they tell us to kiss and not the priest?”
My wife answered,

“In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!”

“““““

Best Russian Women Dating sites listed at Datingville.com , find a beautiful Russian bride for marriage.

Simon the prawn is sick of being chased by the other creatures in the lagoon.

He prays to god to make him into a fierce shark and turn the tables on his enemies.
The next day simon has been turned into a Great white shark and has great fun chasing all his enemies round, but soon starts to enjoy bullying all the other creatures too.

After a few days the novelty wears off and he’s bored and alone, with all his mates afraid and cowering under rocks or hiding in the weed.

That night he prays to god to transform him back to how he was.

The next day he’s back to his old self he goes round to see his friend Christian the shrimp and shouts “are you playing out christian?” Christian shouts “fuck off Simon you’ll eat me if I come out.”

Simon shouts back “you don’t understand I’ve changed, I’m a Prawn Again Christian!”

——-

Catholic & Christian Dating websites to find love at DatingVille.com

A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.

“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table. “If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey, he’ll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible, that means he’ll be a preacher.”
?
So the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door, and watch from where they’re hiding. The boy saunters over to the coffee table. He picks up the ten-dollar bill, looks at it, then sets it down. He picks up the bottle of whiskey, uncorks it, sniffs it, then sets it down. He picks up the Bible, leafs through it, and sets it down. Then the boy takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket, grabs the whiskey, and walks off with the Bible under his arm.
?
“Well, how do you like that!” exclaims the father. “He’s going to be a politician!”

“““““

Lumeno is a free dating site to meet singles online.