Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
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Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’
The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.

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A dirty joke from History
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A dirty joke from History

The joke comes to us from Jean de Conde of Hainaut, born 1275.

A game of truth-telling is being played at court by a Queen and her retinue. A knight is asked by the Queen if he has fathered any children; he is forced to admit that he has not.

The Queen nods in assent, saying, “You do not have the look of a man who could please his mistress when you hold her naked in your arms. For your beard is little more than the kind of fuzz that ladies have in certain places, and it is easy to tell from the state of the hay whether the pitchfork is any good.”

On his turn, the knight asks, “Lady, answer me without deceit. Is there hair between your legs?” When she replies, “none at all”, he comments, “Indeed I do believe you, for grass does not grow on a well-beaten path.”

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Mommy, why is my name…
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Mommy, why is my name…

3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park…

Girl 1 turned to her mother and said…

Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?

Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.

The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question…

Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?

Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head

This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says…

Girl 3: AAARRGHFJJJSSSLLHHMM

Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block

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