A boy hears a loud commotion outside his window. He looks outside and sees a circus procession going down the street. The circus is in town! He runs downstairs and asks his father for some money so that he could go see all that the circus has to offer. He father obliges, and the boy runs off to the big top. He buys himself some popcorn and cotton candy, and he is overjoyed when he finds a spot in the front row.
He is enthralled by the various acts and becomes giddy with excitement when the clowns come out. One clown in particular stand out. He is wearing the front half of a two man horse costume and seems to be looking for someone. Suddenly the spotlight falls on the boy and the clown approaches him. “Excuse me”, said the clown. “Could you stand behind me? Because you look like a horse’s ass!” All the boy could do is stammer. The crowd erupted in laughter.
The boy turns scarlet and runs out of the tent, tears streaming from his face. He gets home and hurries to his room, slamming the door behind him. He was so ashamed that he did not have a comeback for that stupid clown. To calm himself, he took out one of his comic books and began reading. Finding himself unable to concentrate on the plot, he flips through to the advertisements and finds the answer to his problems. One of the ads was for the prestigious academy, The Oxford Boarding School for Wit and Retort. It stated that it would teach young boys all that there is to learn about the art of Wit and Retort and all it asked was for an essay and a 20 pound processing fee. The boy immediately went to his desk, smashed his piggy bank, then began writing his essay.
The boy took a week of his own summer vacation time to write that essay, and it took another two weeks to hear a response. The Boarding School For Wit and Retort was so impressed by his essay that they offered him a full scholarship to attend there. While there, he dedicated himself and strived to be top of the class in the subject of Wit and Retort. After a few years he was finished with the Boarding School for Wit and Retort and went on to the Secondary School for Wit and Retort where he once again received a full scholarship.
He graduated from the Secondary School for Wit and Retort a valedictorian and went to America to study at Harvard in the subject of Wit and Retort. While there, he turned the whole subject on its head with his expertise and theories on Wit and Retort. His dissertation on Wit and Retort was sung in high praises around the world, he became somewhat of a celebrity in certain circles. By the time he returned home, his name was well known in his town and he even had an article about him in the paper concerning his achievements in the field of Wit and Retort.
Soon after he got back, the same circus that broke his heart so long ago returned to town. The boy, now young man, grabbed his coat and made his way to the big top once more. He once again sat in the front row and amused himself with the performances of the circus troupe. After the trapeze act was finished, the clowns made their way to the center stage. There in the center, was the same clown from all those years ago doing the exact same act with the top half of the two man horse costume. He searched around and the spotlight fell on the young man. The clown approaches the man and says, “Excuse me sir. Could you stand behind me? Because you look like a horse’s ass!” The croud grew deathly silent for the Master of Wit and Retort. The man stood up, cleared his throat, leaned forward, and replied
FUCK YOU, CLOWN.
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