A Japanese man goes into a currency exchange. He gives the agent 10,000 yen, and the agent gives him $100.
The next day, the Japanese man goes into the same currency exchange, again giving the agent 10,000 yen. This time, however, the agent only gives him $90.
“Why less this time?” the Japanese man asks.
The agent answers, “Fluctuations.”
The Japanese man turns red in the face and yells “Well, fluckt you Americans too!”
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A man and his mistress check into a hotel. “I don’t know why, but I’m afraid that this room might be bugged with hearing devices.” the mistress tells her man.
“That’s crazy, there’s nothing to be worried about.” the man replies.
The girl insists, so he starts to search the room. He looks in all of the drawers, under the TV, and behind the curtains. When he pulls the rug up, to his utter disbelief, he finds a suspicious looking disc.
“Wow, you might be right!” the man says as he unscrews the disc from the floor.
The next morning, they head to the front desk to check out of their room.
“You guys must’ve had a good time last night” the clerk says laughing.
Angry and confused, the man asks “AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?! ARE YOU USING HEARING DEVICES TO TRACK EVERYTHING WE’RE DOING OR SOMETHING?!?!”
The clerk replies “Not at all. It’s just that the entire chandelier on the floor below your room came down.”
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A virgin man and a virgin woman who never saw anyone from the other sex naked before, were riding on a camel through the desert.
Then in the middle of the desert, the camel stopped walking and was tired, it was hungry, thirsty and there wasn’t any water or food.
They waited for a while, but the camel died. The man and woman were hopeless, they both knew they were going to die.
So the man said: “U know, before I die, I want to see a naked woman.” The woman says: oh, before I die, I really want to see a naked man…”
So they both put their clothes off and the woman looks at the man. “Haha, what is that thing hanging there?”
“Oh, that’s a magical stick, if I put it in something, it can create life”, the man said.
Woman: “Then put it in the camel, so we can go home!”
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A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, “Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no they ain’t. The oldest one’s 9 and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
“I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am,” replied the greeter, “I just couldn’t believe someone would fuck you twice …”
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