Three guys interviewing to be a detective

Three guys interviewing to be a detective. The final step is with the chief inspector who says, “Ahh, so you wanna be detectives, eh? The first skill you need is perception, let’s see how you guys do with that”

He calls them into his office one by one.

The first guy goes in and is shown a picture of a recently captured criminal. Tattooed face, large scar, he’s quite recognisable.
The inspector says, “Take a close look, and I want you to memorize and remember all the features that will help you identify this man in a crowd”
After a minute, the man is done.

The Inspector turns the picture over and says, “Well, go on, describe him to me” The man responds, “Well it wouldn’t be hard to find this guy, given that he has only one ear”.

The inspector stares blankly, turns the picture over and says, “What sort of a moron are you? This is a side profile of the man.. don’t tell me you thought… ugh, get out and stop wasting my time!”

The second guy is called in and given the same challenge.

After his minute he says, “Well, I couldn’t really focus on much other than the fact that he has only one eye”

Visibly frustrated, the inspector bellows, “What is wrong with you people, do you not know what a side profile is?! Get out, and call the last guy in!!”

The last guy comes in and is given the same challenge. The inspector adds, “You know what, take 5 minutes.. and think carefully before you answer”

5 minutes later, the young man turns the picture over himself and says, “You know, I’ll bet he wears contact lenses”

The inspector scrunches his eyebrows and then squints at the young man in silence for a few moments. Not wanting to potentially get embarrassed, he excuses himself to go check the man’s criminal profile. 2 minutes later, he steps back in.

A pleased but puzzles look on his face, he says, “Well, yes.. yes he does wear contacts lenses. How could you tell?”

Visibly delighted with himself, the young man beams back with a smile, “Oh, it took a while to think of it, but there’s no way he could wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear”

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Priest asked Nun to follow him

A Catholic Nun was praying when the priest approached her.

The Priest Lightly Tapped the Nun on the shoulder and asked her to follow him.

The Priest Walked Away and The Nun quickly followed not far behind him.

They arrived In a Room Behind the Church.

The Priest Went inside the room and gestured for the Nun to do the same.

“Sister, Close The Door” Said The Priest “Jesus If Something ever happens please forgive my soul” Prayed The Nun.

“Sister Lock it” Said The Priest “Jesus If Something Ever Happens Please Forgive My Soul” Prayed The Nun.

“Sister Close The Window Curtains” Said The Priest “Jesus If Something ever happens please forgive my soul” Prayed The Nun.

“Sister close the lights” The Priest Said “Jesus If Something Ever Happens Please Forgive My soul”.

“Sister come here beside me” The Priest Said “Jesus Im sorry for what is about to happen please forgive my soul in heaven” prayed the Nun.

“Sister Look at My Watch it glows in the dark”.

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Bar Chili

A guy sits down in at a bar and asks for a bowl of hot chili.

The bartender says, “Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl”.

He looks over and sees that the guy has finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full.

He asks, “Are you going to eat that chili?” The other guy says, “No. Help yourself”. He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat.

When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something.

He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl.

The other guy says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got, too”.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead

A blonde, a brunette and a redheaded mother are talking about their daughters.

The brunette tells them, “I found cigarettes in my daughter’s room, I can’t believe she smokes! ”

The redhead said, “I know, I found some beer in my daughter’s room. I couldn’t believe it! ”

The blonde says “That’s nothing! I found condoms in my daughter’s room. I never knew she had a penis! ”

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