Art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher
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Art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher

An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.

The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”

The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 1’000 question math test which she took, and the score shows that she got them all right. “It took me two months to do this, and I got them all right on the first try!!”

“Oh you make me laugh” the science teacher says. He then pulls out a robot that he built which can do laundry, walk the dog, and shoot lasers out of its eyes. “Took me three months to build this beauty, watch and weep…”

Then the gym teacher comes laughing at all three of them. “You’re all idiots” He says. “Clearly I’m the smartest of you guys.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” The science teacher says.

“Because I didn’t have to do any of that, and I still get paid the same as you!”

“””””

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Most beautiful tits
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Most beautiful tits

A man is walking in the street and sees a women with the most beautiful breasts he’s ever seen.

He walks up to her and asks: “If I give you $1,000, will you let me bite your tits?”
The woman, quite shocked, obviously says no.

The man then asks if he can bite her tits for $5,000. The woman still says no. The man asks for $10,000, $20,000 and $50,000 but the woman still refuses. He finally makes his last offer: $100,000. The woman, after hearing such a large amount of money, accepts to let the man bite her boob. They go into a small dark street and the woman takes her top off and shows her huge tits. The man plunges his head into the beautiful breasts and starts playing with them. The woman, starting to get impatient, says: “Are you going to bite it or what?” He then answers: “No, it’s too expensive”

“””””

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Successful Sons
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Successful Sons

Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.

The first says, “My son is so successful, he’s VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. ”

The second says, ” That’s nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house.”

The third says, “Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet.”

They look expectantly at the last guy who says, “My son is a gay escort who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients.”

“””””

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BBW at the pub
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BBW at the pub

I saw a BBW down the pub.

This lovely fatty had a T-shirt that said – Watch out, I’m a maneater!

I went up to her and said “Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan.”

She stopped me and angrily said “Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I’ve eaten?! Well I can’t help my size you know!”

I said “Actually no, I wasn’t going to say that at all.”

She looked happier and smiled as she said “Oh yes, what did you want to say then?.”

“That’s not how you spell Manatee.”

“””””

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