Month: March 2021

I met my wife at a swingers party.

I said, “You should be home looking after the kids!”

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The wife and I went to a swingers night.

However, when we got there the only other people to turn up were my mum’s sister and her husband.

Turned out to be a bit of an aunty climax.

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I went to this swingers party and tossed my keys into a bowl.

I thought I had hit the jackpot when this hot big titted sultry blonde picked them out.

I never saw my BMW again.

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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting. He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”

“What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”
So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

“””””

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Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation as well.”

Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.

“””””

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There was a Britsh man, a Saudi Arabian man, a Texan and a Mexican. They where all on a plane and it started to shake and the pilot said we have hit bad turbelance some of you is going to have to jump out.

So the Saudi Arabian man said “For the King” and jumped out.

Then the Britsh man said “For the Queen” and he too jumped out.

Then the Texan said “For the Alamo” and kicked the Mexican out of the plane.

“””””

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