I saw a homeless man with a sign that read “$1 for a dirty joke”

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Look there, you can see a Rooster right? How many legs does it have?”
Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Correct, now how many wings does this Rooster have?”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right, now how many eyes this Rooster have?”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Correct again! Now look over there, you see a Cat right?

Me: “Yes, I see a cat”

Homeless man: “how many hairs on that cat’s whiskers?”

Me: “I don’t know?”

Homeless man: “Bro, why you know so much about cock and know nothing about pussy?”

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby minimizing total distance travelled?”

Well don’t you know, she loved my suggestion!

It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

It was a dark and rainy night and our hero’s car had broken down right in front of an old looking mansion.
After knocking, an old Chinese man came to the door. “ I was wondering if it’s at all possible you might have a room for me for the night. I will be out of your hair the next morning and on my way to the service station.”

The old Chinese man says, “ I am honored to extend my hospitality to you, but be warned, my 22-year-old daughter is staying with me. She is young, impetuous, wild, and she is strictly off-limits. Any man who violates her honor will have the three Chinese torture tests administered to him.”

Giving his word and just wanting a warm bed, the man is shown up to his room on the second floor. After getting settled down, there’s a knock at the door. Upon opening, the Beautiful 22-year-old Chinese daughter steps in the doorway. “ Is there anything I can get you?” She says with a mischievous grin, loosening her robe.
He decides, “What the hell, I’ll take on any torture test for a night with this fox” and he enjoys himself thoroughly………

The next morning, he wakes up alone and notices that it’s a bit tough to breathe. Opening his eyes, he sees a large stone on his chest with a sign that reads:

“1st Chinese torture test – 30 pound stone on chest.”

Snorting in derision and thinking if this is the type of BS the old man was talking about then it was totally worth it, he carries the stone to the window to toss it out. After he does, he notices another sign hanging outside the window from the roof that reads:

“2nd Chinese torture test- left testicle tied to 30 pound stone.

Looking around, he realizes he only has a few seconds before the string is going to get…….tightened. Thinking quickly, he decides to just jump out the window. “No problem, I can untie the string when I hit the ground” he thinks.

His blood runs cold however, when he sees the third sign on the side of the house on the way down that reads:

3rd Chinese torture test- right testicle tied to bedpost.

“””””

Chinese Dating Sites to meet a beautiful Asian women. Visit DatingSwan.com today!

A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, ‘How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!’ ‘What a coincidence’ the farmer said. ‘This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.’… This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,’ said the woman.’

‘What a coincidence!’ said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added: ‘What are you celebrating?’ ‘My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!’ ‘What a coincidence!’ said the man. ‘I’m a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.’

‘That’s great!’ said the woman, ‘How did your chickens become fertile?’ ‘I used a different cock,’ he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said ‘what a coincidence’!

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.