For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If She Stayed In Italy To Raise The Child, He Would Also Provide Child Support Until The Child Turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. ‘Honey’, she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today’.

‘Oh, really? Let me see…’, he said. The wife gave it to him and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: ‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.’

“””””

Affair Dating at CheaterAds.com to meet a mistress for an affair.

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, so he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can’t play.

A man walks up and gives the octopus a guitar. The octopus starts playing better than Yngwie Malmsteen, just rippin’ it up. So the man pays his $50.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Chuck Mangione. So the man pays his $50.

Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

“Ha!” the Scot says. “Ye canna play it?”

The octopus looks up at him and says, “Play it? I’m going to fuck it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $9.99.

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said,

“John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years.

Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $9.99.

My parents found my BDSM bondage gear that i’ve been hiding in my room.

I bought bondage gear from my local BDSM sex shop and hid it under my bed.

My parents were furious when they found out and I was yelled at and spanked.

So i started leaving it out in the open.

“””””

BDSM Dating at BDSM-Dating.com for those who like dominance and submission.