in Joke of the Day

On the verge of death

An old Soviet communist lies on his death bed, on the verge of death. His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, “Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me.”

“Oh comrade, it is In the past and all is forgiven” says Dimitri.
The Communist then turns to another friend.
“Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me.”

“No more hard feelings, my friend. You are forgiven,” says Petya.
“Misha, I must confess to you that I had you sent to the penal battalion in 1942. I am terribly sorry about that day.”

“Please my friend, we all forgive you. You may go in peace,” says Misha.
“Thank you, comrades, for being with me throughout all these years,” says the old communist with a tear streaming down his face. “I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for you. I’m sorry for betraying you all, and I hope you will forgive me.”

His friends are visibly touched by his words. Finally, he gathers his last strength and says.
“And in honor of our deep friendship I want you to fulfill my last wish. See that cactus plant on the windowsill? As soon as I die, I want you to take it and shove it up my ass.”

Just as his friends were about to say something the old communist took his last breath.
So Petya goes to the window, takes the cactus plant off and with the other two holding up the old communist’s legs, shoves it up their dead friend’s butt. Suddenly, they hear a loud banging on the door followed by a gruff voice shouting:

“Open up, it’s the police. We’ve received information that an old Bolshevik has been tortured to death.”

“””””

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