A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man’s trouser leg.

The man reached in his pocket and took
out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog.

A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said, “You shouldn’t do that. He’ll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!”.

The blind man retorted, “I’m not rewarding him. I’m just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass”.

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There was a labrador, a dalmation and a doberman. they were all in a doggy bar and a girl poodle walks in. she said to the 3 dogs “whichever one of you can say the best sentence with liver and cheese in wins a date” so the labrador says ” i like cheese but i don’t like liver” not good enough said the girl poodle. Then the Doberman said “I like liver but i don’t like cheese” but it still wasn’t good enough so the dalmtion said ” liver alone cheese mine” he lost because it was the cheesiest joke she had ever heard. None of them got the date!

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A guy wanders into a pub one evening followed by a giraffe. They sit down, and over a number of hours get extremely drunk. As the bar is shutting, the man goes to leave.

The man behing the bar yells “Oi mate. You can’t leave that lying there!”

The drunk turns around and says, “OI mate, it isnt a lion, its a giraffe!”
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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. The questions are NOT that difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend…. except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

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