Joke of the Day – Exclusive Colony

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, “Sir, did you call for me?”

Bob replies, “No, what do you mean?”

She says, “You must be new here; let me explain. It’s a rule that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me.” Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down, and happily lets him have his way with her.

Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few moments a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says, “Sir, did you call for me?” Bob says, “No, what do you mean?”

“You must be new here, it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me.” The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and sodomizes him.

Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. “May I help you?” Bob says, “Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 membership fee.” “But Sir, you’ve only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities…”

“Listen lady, I am 67 years old. I get a hard-on once a month—but I fart 15 times a day!”

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Joke of the Day – Words to work by

Always give 100% at work …….

12% On Monday
23% On Tuesday
40% On Wednesday
20% On Thursday
5% On Fridays

And remember …….

When you’re having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off.

Now get back to work.

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Joke of the Day – Why Questions

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

Joke of the Day – Vulgar Joke

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty joke, Two of the female students in the class decided to walk out on next the next joke.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of hookers in Los Vegas?”

With that, the two female students stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” cried the professor. “The bus doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

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