“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking fancy meal!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

……………..

Get rid of Acne ! Buy Acne Control today!

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night. The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look friend, don’t EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologizes and says he didn’t realize that a “little tap” could scare him so much.

The driver, after gathering himself together replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault.

Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving hearses for the last 25 years!

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, “If I died, would you remarry?”

Peter thought for a second then said “Yeah I guess I would”.

Then his the wife asked, “well would you have her as your golfing partner?”

Peter replied, “yep I probably would do that too”.

“But surely you wouldn’t give her my clubs?!”, she cried.

Peter looked at her and said, “Nah, shes left handed.”

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

An elderly retired gentleman had had severe hearing problems for some time.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear better than he had ever heard before.

One month later, the elderly man went back again to the doctor. The doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

The gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com