Two older guys were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog. The 80-year-old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him how he managed to have so much energy.

The 87-year-old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”

So, on the way home, the 80-year-old stopped the bakery. As he was looking around,the cashier asked if he needed any help. He said, Do you have any rye bread?

She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”

“I want 5 loaves.” he answered.

She said, “My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the third loaf, it’ll be hard.”

Shocked, the old man replied, “I can’t believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me!”

“””””

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When I cam home last night from work, I asked my girlfriend…

Hey can you dress up as my favorite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

“Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favorite Star Wars character” I exclaimed,

“Fuck off” She shouted “I haven’t got dressed yet”

“””””
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Two old men are sitting in a bar.

One of them looks at the other & says

“You look familiar… where you from?”

The second old man replies “Ireland”

The first old man looks astonished & says

” No way I’m from Ireland myself, what a small world!”

The second old man then looks at the first “What city?”

The first old man says “Dublin?”

The second old man looks astonished

“No way I’m from Dublin meself! What a small world.”

The first man looks at the second old man “What school you go to?”

The second old man replies

“Saint Mary’s class of 89”

The first old man is absolutely baffled

” NO WAY Saint Mary’s class of 89 myself! What a small world!”

At this point, another man comes into the bar & says to the bartender

“Hey, Joe! Anything interesting going on?”

The bartender says

“Not really… but the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

“””””

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One winter day, when Ole was ice fishing on the lake, he accidentally got his left foot stuck under the ice for thirty minutes. Eventually he realized he had developed severe frostbite, and so he paid a visit to Dr. Svensson.

Dr. Svensson informed Ole that he would need to have three toes amputated. Ole was clearly upset at the news, letting out several “Uff da!”s in a row. So the good Doctor tried to console him. “Don’t worry, Ole! It’s not all bad news. As long as Lena doesn’t mind, I’m sure you could make a lot of money as a porn star. You betcha!”

Ole was confused and asked, “really?” “Ya,” replied Dr. Svensson. “It’s yust like they said about Yohn Holmes. Everyone loves a man who’s got a foot and a half!”

“””””

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