Salesman’s car breaks down

A traveling salesman’s car breaks down way out in farm country late in the evening.

Luckily he’s not too far from a quaint little farmhouse, so he goes and knocks on the door. The farmer and his wife answer the door, quite sympathetic to the salesman’s plight.

They let him use their phone to call a tow company. Unfortunately the truck couldn’t come out until morning, so the couple offer to let him stay with them overnight. They don’t have a guest room, but their bed is large enough to fit three comfortably, so the salesman accepts gratefully.

A couple hours after going to bed, the wife turns to the salesman and whispers, “I want you!”

He answers, “But your husband is right there!”

She replies, “Pluck a hair from his butt. If he doesn’t wake up, we can do it.”

He plucks a hair; the farmer doesn’t stir, and they quietly have sex.

A couple hours later, she says “I want you again!”

He plucks another hair from the farmer’s butt, getting no reaction, so they have sex again.

Another couple hours later, she says, “I want you one last time before you go!”

And as the salesman reaches to pluck a hair, the farmer tiredly says, “Look, man, I don’t mind if you do my wife, but could you please stop using my ass as a scoreboard?”

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Joke of the Day: Battleship

A captain aboard a battleship spots a light in the distance in the battleship’s path.

Not wanting there to be a collision, he radios the source of the light: “Change your course ten degrees south.”

The response is quick: “Change your course ten degrees north.”

His pride slightly damaged, the captain responds testily: “I am an admiral, first class! Change your course ten degrees south!”

The response: “I am a lieutenant, second class. Change your course ten degrees north.”

Now losing his patience, the captain angrily radios: “Change your course ten degrees south! I’m in a battleship!”

Comes the answer: “Change your course ten degrees north sir, I’m in a lighthouse.”

“””””

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Brunette, Redhead and Blonde

Three women are in the hospital having a baby.

The brunette says “I’m going to have a boy, as we did it in the missionary position”.

The redhead says “I’m going to have a girl as we did it in the cowgirl position”.

The blonde starts crying and says ” I’m going to have a puppy”.

“””””

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Desperate for a job

A man was desperate for a job and finally found an unusual one at the zoo. The gorilla had passed away, and they needed someone to dress up in a gorilla costume until they could get a new one. The man reluctantly agreed.

The next day, he put on the gorilla suit and went into the enclosure. At first, he was nervous, but as the crowd started to gather, he got into it, beating his chest and swinging around.

One day, while swinging on a vine, he accidentally flew over the fence into the lion’s enclosure. Terrified, he backed up against the wall as the lion slowly approached him. With the lion getting closer and closer, the man finally couldn’t take it anymore and screamed, “Help! Help!”

The lion suddenly stopped, leaned in close, and whispered, “Shut up, you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”

“””””

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