A woman contacts her brother-in-law last minute to ask him to watch her daughter for the day. The brother-in-law, Tim, grudgingly agrees. He picks the girl up and takes her down to the shoreline where he works.

“Do you know what I do for a living?”

She nods. “You’re a fisherman, right?”

“Well, kind of. See, we get a lot of fish around here, and in order to catch as many as possible, we’ve streamlined the process and now everyone involved is heavily specialized. There are people who spend their whole day throwing lines out. They just move from line to line, throwing it out and moving on. Then there are other people who keep their eyes on a bunch of lines, and when a fish tugs on one, they run over and jerk the line to hook the fish. All day, just hooking fish after fish. Then they move on, and someone else comes up and reels the fish in. Then someone else collects the fish, and someone else carries them to the warehouse to be gutted. Etc, etc, etc.”

“That seems like it would be tedious. How do you decide which job you want? Do you just end up doing whatever you started with until you quit?”

“Well, no. Everyone starts by hooking the fish. Not many people really like that job, so everyone has to start there. After you’ve been at it for a while, if a position opens up somewhere else, you can spend a few days trying out casting or reeling. The jobs that pay the best, the ones that everybody wants, are baiting and gutting the fish. Gutting isn’t pleasant, but the pay is good and you can work indoors.”

She thinks about that for a minute, then nods. “Okay, so what do you do?”

“Me? I’m a baiter. Have been for years!” Uncle Tim is clearly proud of himself. “Not only that, but I’m at the top of the game. See how there are people fishing all up and down here?

Well, what you probably don’t realize is that you have to earn your position. Newbies and people who aren’t good at their job start out here on the street. If you’re good enough, though, you can earn a spot working on the pier, where they get twice as many fish. And if you’re a master of your specialty, you can get a place out there at the very end. That’s where they catch the most and the best fish, and that’s where I work!”

The girl doesn’t find this very interesting, but she goes out with her uncle and watches and helps for a few hours at the end of the pier. She hates it. The bate is disgusting, the hooks keep on pricking her. It’s miserable. About halfway through the day, though a spot opens up out on the street, and she jumps at the chance to get away from her Uncle’s prized job.

That night, at dinner, her mother asks, “So, how was your day with your uncle? Where did you go? What did you learn?”

She thinks for a minute before replying: “We went to the shore today, and I learned one thing for certain. I’d rather be a lowly street hooker than spend the rest of my life as a master baiter like Uncle Tim.”

——-

.site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A noble goes hunting with his servant. They haven’t gotten far from house when noble realizes that ground is muddy and ruining his shoes.

He tells servant: “I’m going to wait here, run back to house and bring me my riding boots”.
Servant, seizing the moment, runs into house and into noble’s daughter’s bedroom.

“My lady, your father ordered me to make love to you”. Daughter agrees. When he’s done, servant runs to the wife of the noble.

“My apologies, but your husband ordered me to satisfy both you and your daughter. It’s your turn”.

Lady of the house doesn’t believe a word. So servant opens a window and yells to noble so everyone could hear:

“Did you say just one or both?”

“What the fuck is taking so long? You goddamn halfwit! Of course both!”

——-

.site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.

The CO says, “Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked, “How did you do it?”

“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, ‘Do you want to get a 3 day pass?’ So we exchanged tanks!”

“““““

Jewish Dating at MatchJewish.com to meet single Jewish women and men looking for love.

A company had a position open that required a great deal of sensitivity dealing with people. They devised a strategy to weed out inappropriate candidates during the interview. They had a person working for the company who was born without ears, so they had him perform the interviews.

The first interviewee fails immediately when he walks in and says, “Dude, what happened to your ears?”

The second never made mention of the interviewer’s lack of ears, but was very obviously looking at where his ears should have been.

The third walked in, sat calmly, and never seemed to notice the interviewer’s lack of ears. At the end of the interview even the interviewer was impressed because he had never spoken to anyone for that length of time with some kind of reaction. The interviewer was so curious he couldn’t resist asking, “So, did you notice anything strange or different about me?”

“Like what?”

“Anything, anything at all.”

After making an obvious show of carefully looking the interviewer over, the interviewee says, “The only thing I can think of is your eyes. You wear contacts.”

“Hey, that’s right, I do wear contacts! How’d you know?”

“Well you can’t wear glasses; you don’t have any fucking ears.”

——-

.site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com