Playing golf

A guy gets too drunk while playing golf and forgets what hole he’s on

He sees a woman ahead of him and yells “what hole am I on?”

She says “you must be on the hole behind me and I’m on 5, so you must be on 4.”

He plays a few holes and forgets again. He sees her and yells “hey, what hole am I on now?”

She says “you’re on the hole behind me and I’m on 12, so you must be on 11.”

He eventually finishes and goes to the clubhouse bar for one last beer. He sees the woman, thanks her for the help, and asks what she does.

“It’s kind of embarrassing, please don’t laugh. But I sell menstrual supplies.”

The man starts laughing hysterically and she glares at him, obviously upset at his laughing.

“No no no, I’m not laughing at what you do” he says. “It’s just that I sell toilet paper. So I’m on the hole behind you.”

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Woman goes to the doctor

Woman goes to the doctor for a checkup as she has been unsatisfied with her sex life and is told her vagina has become rather loose over the years.

Upset she returns home and laying a mirror on the floor, gets naked, straddles the mirror and starts to examine herself.

Her husband walks in and surprised to find his wife naked, asks what she is doing. She tells him what the doctor said. He replied “OK, but be careful you don’t fall into that big hole”.
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Fred

A Wyoming Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. “Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson, from Rock Springs, Wyoming. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.

“After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

“Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my ‘Johnson’, so now, I’m, Just Fred.”

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One of the best marksmen

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull’s-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.

The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man turned out to be the village idiot. “This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the FBI man. “How in the world do you do it?” “Nothing to it,” said the idiot. “I shoot first and draw the circles afterward.”

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