A woman goes to her doctor, and says ‘kiss me’, to which he replies ‘no, it would be unprofessional.’

Once again, she says ‘kiss me’. He says ‘no.’

Again, she says ‘kiss me’. He again replies ‘no.’

She says ‘kiss me’ again, and the doctor says ‘I shouldn’t even be having sex with you’.

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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

“Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” he asks.

“Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”

“Well, wash your f*ckin’ hands,” says the man. “I want a chicken sandwich!”

——-

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A farmer needs to buy a rooster for his hens but the seller warns him that the rooster is unusually amorous and will attempt to copulate with any living creature.

Since the farmer is in dire need after a few foxes have made off with his previous roosters, he takes the risk as part of the bargain price.

After a few weeks, the rooster has been quite busy. The hens are very happy and fertile and his chickens are multiplying quickly.

A few days later, he hears a terrible noise in the night. The fox is back. But the farmer finds the rooster sexually violating the poor fox. The fox runs off into the night never to return.

The farmer warns the rooster, “Damn, son. That’s mighty brave of you, but that habit is gonna be the death of you.”

The rooster shrugs it off and goes back to his harem of hens.

Several more farm animals were violated over the next few weeks–pigs, a mule, the geese, the farm dog, and even a cow. Each time, the farmer warned, “That’s gonna get you killed, boy. Slow that down.” But the rooster continued to shrug it off.

A few days later, the rooster is nowhere to be found. A small gathering of buzzards is circling over the bean field. The farmer wades into the rows to find the rooster laying motionless.

“I told you so, you horny bastard.”

The rooster opens and eye and points to the buzzards and says, “Shh!”

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After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brit’s, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York bulletin: “American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British” One week later, the Cape bulletin, in South Africa , reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Thabazimbi , South Africa , Lucky Simelane, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing (azikolo, fokol (f*** all). Lucky has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Africa had already gone wireless.

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