An African lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe.

“Take a couple swings at that tree over there.” The foreman said.

The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single chop.

“Holy smokes, you’ve got quite the arm! You’re absolutely hired, but I need to know what you can do. Try your hand at this tree over here.” The foreman points out a much larger tree.

One, two swings and the tree crashes to the ground.

“That’s incredible!” Cried the foreman. “Wherever did you learn to chop like that?!”

“In the Sahara Forest.” Replied the lumberjack.

“Don’t you mean the Sahara Desert?” Asked the foreman.

“That’s why I’m here.”

“““““

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There was a mother who had three daughters.

One day the first daughter walks up and asks,

“Mommy, why am I named Rose?”

“Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head.”

She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,

“Mommy, why am I named Daisy?”

“Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head.”

She walks away. Then third walks up and says,

“My favorite color is potato”

“Shut up, Brick!”

——-

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So a farmer walks into a bar and orders 15 shots. The bartender asks “why are you getting wasted on such a beautiful day” The farmer replies “Somethings you can’t explain.” The Bartender asks what happened and the farmer explains.

The farmer says “You see I was milking my cow Bessie and once I got a full bucket she kicked it over with her front right leg. So I tied it to a post. I then started to milk her and once I got a full bucket she kicks it with her hind right leg, so I tie that leg to a post. Again I start milking her and once I get a full bucket she kicks it over with her front left leg so I tie that to a post. I start milking her for the fourth time and once I get a full bucket she knocks it over with her last leg, so I tie it up too. I start milking her again and she knocks it over with her tail. I was out of rope so I had to tie her tail up with my belt, without my belt my pants fell down. At that moment my wife walked in. You see there are some things you just can’t explain”

“““““

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When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him.

And during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?

Tarzan not know sex he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said ….Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.

Horrified Jane said,Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.

Here she said, pointing to her privates,you must put it in here.

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed What did you do that for?

Tarzan replied, Check for squirrel.

——-

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