Joke of the Day: 25 inches

A man who had a 25 inch long penis went to his doctor to complain that he was having a problem with this rather massive instrument and has had more than one complaint. “Doctor,” he asked, in total frustration, “is there anything you can do for me?” The doctor replies, “Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you.” So the doctor gives him directions to the witch.

The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. “Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I need help. Can anything be done to help me? You are my last hope!” The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, “I think I may be able to help you. Do this. Go deep into the forest. You will find a pond. In this pond, you will find a frog sitting on a log. This frog has magic. You say to frog, will you marry me? When the frog says no, you will find five inches less to your problem.” The man’s face lit up and he dashed off into the forest. He called out to the frog, “Will you marry me?”

The frog looked at him dejectedly and replied, “NO.” The man looked down and suddenly his penis was 5 inches shorter. “WOW,” he screamed out loud, “This is great!!” But at 20 inches it was still too long, so he asked the frog again. “Frog, will you marry me?” the guy shouted. The frog rolled its eyes back in its head and screamed back, “NO!” The man felt another twitch in his penis, looked down, and it was another 5 inches shorter. The man laughed, “This is fantastic.” He looked down at his penis again, 15 inches long, and reflected for a moment Fifteen inches is still a monster, just a little less would be ideal.

Grinning, he looked across the pond and yelled out, “Frog will you marry me?” The frog looked back across pond shaking its head, “How many times do I have to tell you? NO, NO, NO!!”

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Joke of the Day: Little Stacy and the goldfish

Little Stacy is digging a hole in the back yard when her neighbor looks over the fence.

“What are you doing Stacy?”

“My goldfish died, so I’m digging a hole to bury it.”

The neighbor smiles:

“But isn’t that hole a little big for a gold fish?”

“Not if it’s inside your fucking cat.”

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Joke of the Day: Englishman, Scotchman, and Irishman

An Englishman, a Scotchman, and an Irishman walk into a bar

They each order a beer. The barkeep brings them each a beer, and there happens to be a fly in each one.

The Englishmen, a bit put off, says “Sir there’s a fly in my beer, I’ll need a fresh one please.”

The Scotchman, undeterred shrugs and says “I won’t be letting a fly ruin me enjoying my beer!” and he chugs his.

The Irishman is enraged and grabs the fly by the wings and yells “SPIT IT OUT YE BASTARD!”

^^^^^^

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Joke of the Day: Two Blondes

Two Blondes are out on a hike when one looks down and sees some tracks.

“Hey look, deer tracks!” she exclaims.

The other blond looks over and says, “Those aren’t deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!”

After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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