For a couples anniversary, this guys wife wants to get the words “beautiful butt” tattoo’d across her ass, since he’s always saying how beautiful her butt is.

She goes to get the tattoo, but the artist says that the words are too long and she doesn’t have enough room. She decided to abbreviate the words to BB, one B on each cheek. The artist says he can do that.

She gets home to find her husband in bed reading. She strips for him, and turns around and bends over and grabs her ankles. Her husband looks at her ass and says “Who the hell is BOB?”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Criss Angel and Houdini walk into a bakery. Criss palms 3 Donuts with one hand and puts them in his pocket without anyone noticing. He says, “Do you see how masterful I am Houdini, I make donuts disappear at will!”

Houdini responds, “Not bad, not bad at all.”

Houdini then goes to the Bakery owner and asks him if he wants to see a magic trick. The curious owner answers, “Of course!”

Houdini proceeds to ask him for a Doughnut, and then eats it. He asks him for another one, and then eats it as well. He then asks him for a third one, which the owner reluctantly gives up.

“So where is the magic trick? I gave you 3 donuts already!”

Houdini responds, “Go check Criss Angel’s pocket.”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

An old man goes to the doctor’s office as he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my penis,” he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.” “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said. The receptionist replied, “You’ve obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.” The man walked out, waited a few minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes?’ “There’s something wrong with my ear,” he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?” “I can’t piss out of it…”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A young religious couple is about to get married when their car crashes, killing them both. They come to the gates of heaven and are greeted by Saint Peter. He tells them that they were both faithful in life and he welcomes them into God’s Kingdom.

“Wait,” says the man. “We were about to be married, but we died before the ceremony. Is it possible to get a marriage in heaven?”

Saint Peter thinks about it, but he can’t think of an answer. He tells them to wait and he’ll see what he can do.

While he’s gone, the couple starts thinking about how final a marriage in heaven is. After all, a marriage on Earth is ’til death do us part- but a marriage in heaven would be truly eternal.

Days later, Saint Peter comes back. “It was tough,” he said, “but I managed to arrange a ceremony for you two.”

“That’s all good and fine,” says the couple, “but can we a also get a prenup, just in case?”

Saint Peter throws his hands up in the air in frustration and says, “It took me this long to find a priest up here, do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com