Joke of the Day: Car Crash

A woman and her boyfriend have just left a wild party and are speeding down a country lane in a sports car. The woman wants some fun and strips off her dress so she can flash at passers-by. Unfortunately, the man gets distracted and crashes the car. The naked woman is thrown clear but her boyfriend is trapped in the wreckage. The only cover the woman can find is one of her boyfriend’s shoes, so she holds it over her crotch and runs to a nearby garage. She sees a mechanic and shouts, ‘Help! Help! My boyfriend’s stuck!’ The mechanic looks at the shoe and says, ‘You’re going to need a doctor, miss, he’s too far in.’

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Joke of the Day: Bear and a rabbit

A bear and a rabbit were pooping in the woods.

The bear looked at the rabbit and said “do u have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”.

The Rabbit said “no, why?”.

So the bear picked him up and wiped his ass with him.

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Joke of the Day: by the Mental Hospital

A man is walking past the mental hospital.

Through the wood board fence he hears the nuts inside chanting, thirteen…thirteen…thirteen.

Curious, peeks through a knot hole and someone pokes him in the eye!

He jumps back in pain holding his eye

Then he hears the nuts start chanting, fourteen…fourteen…fourteen.

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Joke of the Day: Socrates the philosopher

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.”

“All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?”

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.

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