4 Catholic ladies are having tea together. The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…..?”

She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2″, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, ‘Oh my God…’.”

——-

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies.” He responded.

“Oh! Are you killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked ….. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

——-

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A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico City.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

“What is that you just served?” he asked the waiter.

“Ah senor, you have excellent taste!” the waiter replied. “Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’

“What the heck, bring me an order.”

“I am so sorry senor,” the waiter replied. “There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.”

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter.

“These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.”

The waiter shrugged his shoulders.

“Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins…”

“””””

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A city boy, Lloyd, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day, so early in the morning he drove over to Lloyd’s.

Farmer: “Sorry son, I have some bad news, the donkey died.”

Lloyd: “Well then, just give me my money back.”

Farmer: “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Lloyd: “OK then, just unload the donkey.”

Farmer: “What ya gonna do with him?”

Lloyd: “I’m going to raffle him off.”

Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

Lloyd: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with Lloyd.

Farmer: “What happened with that dead donkey?”

Lloyd: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.”

Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Lloyd: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”

Lloyd grew up and eventually became CEO of Goldman Sachs!

“““““

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