Joke of the Day: New Jeep Wrangler

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Jeep Wrangler and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that truck???!!!” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” demanded his parents. They knew what a Jeep Wrangler cost.

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.” So the parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?” they said.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. I don”t know her name – they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Jeep Wrangler for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh my Goodness!,” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what”s going on.” So the boy”s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Jeep Wrangler for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

“Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. (I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn”t intend to come back).
He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Jeep Wrangler and send him the money.
So I did.”

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Joke of the Day: 2 new horses

A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen. They go on a ride and come back pleased.

“This horse is great! From now on I’ll always take this one” said the first cop.

“My horse’s great too. So I’ll always take it” replied the second cop.

“But how do we know which is which?”

They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea.

“Lets cut off this ones tail”

The other cop agreed and the horse lost it’s tail. The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses
and looks really mad. The two cops see this and ask whats wrong.

“You two morons cut off the horses tail that’s what’s wrong!”

“But otherwise we couldn’t tell them apart.”

“Can’t you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one.?!”

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Joke of the Day: God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
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Joke of the Day: Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.

Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: “I’m here to put you into a trance;
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat. “I want you each to keep your eye on
this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my family for
six generations”

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting, “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. . .”

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth,
light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the
swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and
fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

“SHIT!” said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.

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