Joke of the Day: Painting

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, “Hey, let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.”

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, “Who is it?”

“Blind man!”

The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, “He’s blind, he can’t see. What could it hurt.” They let him in.

The blind man walks in and says, “Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?”

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Joke of the Day: one night

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

A man didn’t come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband’s 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

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Joke of the Day: Undressing

A man went with his wife on honeymoon and they were getting undressed together for the first time.

The man took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored.

“What happened to your feet?” his wife asked.

“I had a childhood disease called Tolio.”

“Don’t you mean polio?”

“No, tolio, it only affects the toes.”

The man then removed his pants and revealed an awful-looking pair of knees.

“What happened to your knees?” she asked.

“Well, I also had Kneesles.”

“Don’t you mean measles?”

“No, kneesles, it only affects the knees.”

When he removed his shorts, his wife gasped and said, “Don’t tell me, you also had Smallcox!”

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Joke of the Day: very attractive woman

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

“Are you the manager?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

“Actually, no” the man replies. “Can you get him for me?” she asks. “I need to speak to him,” she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

“I’m afraid I can’t”, breathes the bartender. “Is there anything I can do?” “Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message” she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

“What should I tell him?” the bartender manages to say.

“Tell him”, she whispers, “There is no toilet paper or hand soap in the woman’s room.”

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