Category Archives: Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day: Life should be in reverse

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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What is that, a bonus? I think the cycle is all backwards. You should die first. Get it out of the way. Then live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young. You get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs and alcohol. You party. You get ready for High School. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby. You go into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating…you finish off as an orgasm.

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Joke of the Day: husband Sam is missing

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A lady calls the police to report her husband Sam is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he’s 6 foot 4 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, “You can’t believe her. Sam is really 5 foot 3 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face.” The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, “Just because I reported him missing, doesn’t mean I wanted him back!”

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Joke of the Day: A little girl

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A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to
the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut….she is eating a snack
cake… the barber smiles at her and says, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get
hair on your twinkie.”

“I know, “she replies. “I’m gonna get boobies, too.”

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Joke of the Day: Mommy Test

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I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

“OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”

“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.

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