A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The boy said, “Look, I’m an economist. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

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Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away.”
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, suggests to the young girl, “Why don’t you go home for the day…we aren’t terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax.”
Sally very calmly states, “No I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees, and allows her to work as usual. “If you need anything, just let me know,” says the boss.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.
He rushes over an asks, “What’s the matter now? Are you going to be ok?”
Sally breaks down in tears. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!”
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There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there’s a magical mirror. If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you one wish… but if you lie – POOF! – it swallows you up for eternity.

A brunette, redhead, and a blonde walk into that very bar – with a mission. They head straight for the magic mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” POOF! – the mirror swallows her up and she’s gone for eternity.

The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” POOF – now she’s gone too.

Lastly, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think……..” – POOF!

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Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marriage still confers one very special privilege – only a married person can get divorced.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. — John Lyly

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