Pulling up to the toll both Jack handed the collector a $100.00 bill.

Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed “I can’t break this! I need exact change.”

“Come on buddy.” Jack pleaded, “Can’t you give me a break, just this once?”
“Nope. Sorry. Exact change!” Answered the collector.

“While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, “Do you really like this job?”

“Well it’s not the best job that I’ve ever had, but it pays the bills,” replied the collector. “what do you do for a living?” he asked.

Still counting change and without looking up Jack said, “I’m a rectum stretcher.”

“A what?” asked the collector.
“A rectum stretcher.” Jack replied, giving the collector a slideways glance.

“What does a rectum stretcher do?” The collector asked.
“Well just as the name implies, I stretch rectums.” Jack explained setting aside a nickle.

“Wow, is there much call for that kind of work?” The collector asked.
“Oh you’d be surprised. It’s real popular with the upper crust, the high society people, the jet set. It’s the new trend.” Jack said.

Pausing for a moment the collector then asked, “Well if you don’t mind me asking, I mean if it’s not too personal, how big do you, well you know…?”

“…How big do I stretch them?” Jack interupted. “Most of them, not too big,” He continued, “but I have stretched some up to six feet.”

“SIX FEET!” The collector exclaimed eyes wide, and jaw slack. “Six Feet. What is someone going to do with a six foot asshole?”

Jack, having counted out the exact change, handed the change to the collector. Looking him in the eye, Jack answered, “Oh, put it on a toll bridge collecting tolls.”

“““““

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying, and father stork is trying to calm him, “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying, “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork parents are desperate. Their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns, and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

Says the baby stork, “Nowhere in particular. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”

“““““

Get Dell Coupons at JuicyCoupons.com to save money online !

A best man’s speech should be like a mini-skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials.

A classified ad which read “Wife Wanted” received hundreds of responses, all from men saying “You can have mine.”

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband expects his wife to be perfect… and to understand why he’s not.

“““““

Marine Dating  We bring together single members of the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, Police Force, and Firefighters — as well as civilians, veterans.