Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed… “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed…

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”

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Nina lived in Manhattan. Nina’s younger sister, Rosey, came in from college to spend a weekend with her sophisticated sister. Nina had even arranged a date for Rosey with one of her friends, George.

After a lovely dinner and a show, George and Rosey went to George’s apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a while and then George suggested they retire to the bedroom.

“Oh, no,” Rosey protested. “I don’t think my sister would like it.”

“Nonsense,” said George as he gently took her arm. “She loves it.”

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one day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past….the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the day was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. the moral or the story is………….the bigger the sausage….the wetter the pussy!

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A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! ”

“What a coincidence,” he said, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”

“This is a special day for me, too, and I’m also celebrating!,” says the woman.

“What a coincidence,” says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, “What are you celebrating?”

“My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I’m pregnant!”

“What a coincidence,” says the man. “I’m a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally laying fertilized eggs.”

“That’s great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?”

“I switched cocks,” he replied.

She smiled and said, “What a coincidence!”

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