Joke of the Day – 10 fruits

3 explorers were looking in the forest when they were captured by Indians. They were taken to their chief, and he said go out into the forest and come back with 10 of the same kind of fruits. The first guy comes back with 10 bannanas, and the chief says, shove them all up your butt without making a sound.
So the 1st guy gets 2 bannanas in when he starts screaming, so the indians kill him. The second guy comes back with 10 berries, and they shove 9 in and are about to shove the 10th in when he starts laughing, and so since he made a sound the indians killed him too.
Now the first two explorers souls fly out of their bodies and into heaven and they start talking. The first explorer says ‘Hey dude why did you laugh you could’ve gone back and told out families what had happened’.
The 2nd explorer replies, ‘Sorry I just couldn’t stop when I saw fred comin down the hill with 10 pinneapples.

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Joke of the Day – Business Decision

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He asks, ‘What are you doing?’

She answers, ‘I’m moving to Nevada . I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.’

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom & sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he’s going, he replies, ‘I’m coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.

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Joke of the Day – Escaped Convicts

Three convicts escape from jail and are being chased by police. They turn onto a dark alley and spot a bunch of potato sacks. Each of the three hide in one.
A policeman quickly comes through the scene and hears a rustling from the potato sacks. He goes over to them and kicks the first potato sack.
‘Meow!’ says the a convict. And the policeman goes to the next muttering, ‘Stupid cats.’
He kicks the second potato sack and the second convict says, ‘Woof!’
‘Stupid dogs!’ says the policeman while moving on to the next potato sack. The policeman kicks it, nothing, so he kicks it again and the last convict says, ‘Potato potato!’

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Joke of the Day – A Problem of Problems

A young couple decided to wed.

As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive.

Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.

“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”

His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”

“Oh yes, very much,” he said, “but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.

“Mom,” she said, “When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”

“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”

“No, you don’t understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.

“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

“Well, it’s certainly worth a try,” she thought.

The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well.

That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off.

Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”

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