Category: Joke of the Day

Customer: “My mouse doesn’t work any more.”

Tech Support: “Is it an optical or ball mouse?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Tech Support: “Does it have a ball or light?”

Customer: “It has an light on top.”

Tech Support: “On top?”

Customer: “Yeah. It was underneath before, but it looks better when it’s on top.”

Tech Support: “Ok, try turning it around so the light points down on the desk.”

Customer: “Oh! It works!”

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Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there�s no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!

Exercise 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn�t effective enough.

Exercise 2

Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!
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There were women waiting in a doctor’s office.

They started talking and one women said, “I’m going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I’m going to have another girl.”

One of the other ladies said, “I’m going to have a boy, I was on the top.”

The last lady started to cry.

The two other ladies asked, “Why are you crying?”

She replied, “I’m going to have puppies!!!”

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Half dressed redneck couple sitting on couch watching news on TV with man’s arm around the woman. The man says “Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. Right, Darlin'” The woman replies, “That’s right, Daddy.”

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