A Pastor entered his donkey

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

“””””

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Seamus has a broken leg

Seamus has a broken leg and his buddy Paddy comes over to see him.

Paddy asks, “How you doin’?”

Seamus says, “Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.” Paddy goes upstairs and sees Seamus’s gorgeous 19-year old twin daughters lying on the bed.

He says, “Your dad’s sent me up here to have sex with both of you.”

They say, “Get away with ya… Prove it.”

Paddy shouts downstairs, “Seamus, both of ’em?”

Seamus shouts back, “Of course both of ’em, what’s the point of fuckin’ one?”

“””””

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Focus

Two poor country girls are broke and decide to do some nude modeling. Cindy has posed for the photographer before so she knows the process.

The photographer invites them into his studio and offers them a drink. Darlene, being nervous, asks Cindy “whass that there in that jug?”.

The reply is “thass moonshine to help us get loose”. They drink.

The photographer opens a large camera case. “Whass he doing now?” asks Darlene. Cindy responds “he gettin’ his cammer set up”.

The photographer gets the big box camera set up on a tripod, attaches the curtain, then starts to get underneath said curtain.

Darlene having no idea how a camera works asks “whass he doin’ now?”. Cindy tells her ” he gon focus”. Darlene, in a shocked tone asks:

“Bofus?!”

“””””

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BDSM magazines

Mom finds a large number of BDSM magazines beneath her son Tyler’s bed.

She calls her husband up to the room to show him and discuss.

How should we punish Tyler?” she asks.

Father frowns and responds “Well I guess spanking him is out of the question”

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