A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.

As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, “Didn’t you tell me you were a banker?”

The young man answered, “Yes, I did.”

To this the tailor said, “Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?”

“““““

Get bargains at BargainRampage.com and save on electronics.

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

“Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.”

“““““

Get eBags.com Coupons at JuicyCoupons.com to save money online !

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls “And get me another whisky you idiot”. Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick you”.

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says “For someone who can’t fly, you complain too much!”

“““““

Check out DatingWealthyPeople.com to meet a rich partner! Try their Dating Wealthy Men & Women.

Some fun things to do the next time you’re on one of those long international flights to kill time…

When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.

When there’s any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.

Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.

Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.

Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.

Run down the aisle screaming, “He’s got a bomb! He’s got a bomb!”.

Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.

“Accidental” soda spill on the dork next to you.

Give someone a coin, saying “Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don’t”.

Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling “We’re out of toilet paper! Stewardess!”.

Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you.

Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.

Start a hot dog stand.

Steal businessman’s laptop, play solitaire on it.

Remark that perhaps you shouldn’t have put super glue in your underpants that morning.

Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.

Show off your Batman underwear.

Switch accents and see if anyone notices.

Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.

Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger.

Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says “e”.

Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice “Why do they call it the COCKpit?” then snort as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

Don’t use deodorant, then “accidentally” stick your armpit in someone’s face.

Sneeze, using somebody’s sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.

Snort when you laugh.

Tell corny jokes and laugh like it’s absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.

Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling “Yeee-ha!”.

With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say “Never mind. Do you have any towels?”.

Jump up and scream “AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!”.

Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they’re Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best then the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)

If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.

Pretend you’re flying the airplane.

“““““

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!