A lady’s sick of her husband’s drinking, so she decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and when her husband walks in from being out all night, she jumps out from behind the sofa and screams. He says, “You don’t scare me. I’m married to your sister.”

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There was these newly weds that were both virgins and nervous about the wedding night. Finally when it came the wife took off all of her clothes and went under the covers while her husband took off his clothes one by one. First he took off his socks and his toes were messed up. His wife says “what happened to your toes?” He says “I had toelio”. She says “you mean Polio”, but he said, “no, toelio”. Then he takes off his pants and the wife sees that his knees are all banged up and weird. The wife says “what happened to your knees?” He says “I had Kneaseles”. And she says “you mean Measles” and he says “no, Kneaseles”. Finally he took off his underwear and she says “Let me guess…small cox?”

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There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan! And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, What??…. so expensive! There upon, the driver yelled back, Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

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An elderly woman went to her local doctors office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, Id like to have some birth control pills.

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but youre 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?

The woman replied, They help me sleep better.

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued…. How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?

The woman said, I put them in my granddaughters orange juice, and I sleep better at night.

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