Three women were talking about their love lives.

The first said, “My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated.”

The second said, “Mine is like a porsche; fast and powerful.”

The third said, “Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it’s still going.”

“““““

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The cops raided a brothel in Kings Cross. In one of the booths they found an Asian bloke bonking like crazy. Whats your name?

My name is Ting

In the next room they found another Asian bloke sitting quietly in a shabby armchair. And whats your name?

My name is Ting

Oh yeah, said the sergeant suspiciously. How come weve just arrested Ting in the room next door?

He is Ru Ting. I am Wah Ting.

“““““

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An American tourist pulls over the Hertz car in the middle of nowhere for a pee. Suddenly a bloke jumps out from behind a tree, pointing a shotgun at him. Pull yourself off, he orders.

What?

Masturbate. Right now!

Nervously, the tourist obliges.

Now, do it again.

I cant do it again

DO it again!

So the tourist masturbates for a second time.

Okay, once more

I couldnt do it once more, no matter what. You may as well shoot me.

No, thats fine. Now you can give my sister a lift to the next town.

“““““

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The Australian, the Frenchman and the Canadian were bragging about their sexual escapades with their respective wives.

After I have zee sex wiz my wife said the Frenchman, I cover her wiz crepes suzette and eat it sensually off her silky bare skin. She becomes so excited she rises centimetres off ze bed.

After I screw my wife, drawled the Canadian, I pour maple syrup on her and lick it off slowly. Shes in so much goddam ecstasy she rises feet off the bed.

Me?, says the Aussie. When Ive finished with my old lady I wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the roof!

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