A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his.

Oscar, what happened to you?, asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering.

I got a ride down here in some guys mustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off, wheezed Oscar.

Let me give you a tip, old pal, said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. You go to the stewardess lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on the toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stewardess comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice warm ride. Got it?

So you can imagine the fleas surprise when, a month or so later, while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, who should he see but Oscar – looking more chilled and miserable than before.

Listen, said Oscar, I did everything you said. I made it to the stewardess lounge and waited till a really cute one came in, and made a perfect landing and got so warm and cozy that I dozed right off.

And so? asked the first flea.

And so the next thing I know, Im on this guys mustache again!

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Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said You know – its blondes like that that give us a bad name!

To this, the other blonde replies I know it, and if I knew how to swim, Id go out there and drown her.

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Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started bitching, complaining that he couldnt drink a hotdog. The other drunk told him his idea.

What we do is buy a hotdog, go into a bar, and order two drinks. After we drink our beers you drop down to your knees, and Ill unzip my pants and pull out the hotdog so you can suck on it. The bartender will throw us out thinking were queers.

The other drunk thought this was a great idea, so they bought a hotdog. They went into the first bar, ordered their drinks, and drank them quickly. Then the drunk dropped to his knees and started to suck the hotdog. Sure enough, the bartender kicked them out thinking they were queer.

They hit about ten or fifteen bars when the first drunk started to complain about his knees hurting. He asked if in the next bar the other drunk would do the dirty work.

The second drunk said, Id rather not. I lost the hotdog after about the fifth bar.

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, Son, how old are you?

Eight, the boy replied.

The man, perplexed but intrigued, couldnt help but ask, Do you know what these are used for?

The boy replied, Not exactly, but they arent for me. Theyre for him (pointing to the boy who came in with him). Hes my little brother. Hes four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He cant do either one.

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